I'm sitting here pumped up about losing my baby weight. Let's be honest from the get go. It's not all baby weight. Yes I have 6 children so there is baby weight there. My first child I gained 4 pounds during that pregnancy and went home 20 pounds less than my pre- pregnancy weight. Worked out and got into pretty good shape and then got sick and well life happened. I will say that my first child's father was good at pushing me to work out. Sometimes too good and I'd get mad and leave him at the gym. My second child I gained 16 pounds and had lost it all again when I got pregnant with my 3rd child. Gained 16 pounds and lost it and was doing pretty good at losing weight when I got pregnant with my 4th child. Gained 50 pounds with my 4th. After I had her I really hit the gym and was meeting with a trainer 2 days a week, plus exercising another 3-4 days on my own. Hadn't lost all of the 50 I gained from her when I got pregnant with my 5, and then my 6th. Granted I didn't gain but 14 pounds with my 6th, but that put me back up to a weight I'm not happy with.
I've been off and on trying to losing the weight from my pregnancies. I'm a stress eater. 10 days after my son (my 6th child) was born my Dad died. I had surgery in 2012, had the worst year ever in 2013...well now it's 2014 and it's time to end the un healthy eating. I'm done with it. I'm done with being over weight as well.
I'm on day 6 of my lifestyle change. I joined a challenge to do 25 squats a day for 7 days. Today is day 6. I know you're thinking "25 squats a day is nothing". Well it's something when you haven't exercised in months! I'm not super sore now. After 2 days my legs were on fire, after day 3 my butt was so sore. It hurt to sit down, it hurt to stand up and it hurt the most to walk. You know what though, I did it. I kept going with the squats, I'm still going with my shakes, and I'm still motivated to keep going.
I think motivation is what keeps killing me. I can't seem to stay motivated and I have no support here at home. I was just told yesterday by my husband that he doesn't "care". He kept making stupid and nasty comments about my squats and I explained to him the challenge I'm doing and those were his words "I don't care". How can you not care?
I've never in the past had any support from my husband on losing weight. I've always heard "You don't need to lose weight", "I don't want you getting too skinny", "Why are you trying to lose weight". If he isn't saying it then he is trying to prevent it by bringing home junk food. I have very little will power and he knows this. I don't buy it so that I don't eat it. He knows if he brings it in the house that I'm going to cave and eat it. Now I'm not blaming my weight gain and lack of weight loss on my husband, I'm just saying he doesn't help.
I always start off very motivated and tell myself "I've got this", "I'm doing it this time". I always fail. I always lose motivation. I've got to keep it this time. I want to be healthy so badly. I'm going to find a way to motivate myself daily! My friend Doug is helping with this, he post something that motivates everyone every day on Facebook, sometimes more than one post (ok most days it's more than one post). He tells me all the time "self motivate"!
As I've been looking through Pinterest at things other people have posted, either sayings, pictures, recipes etc I find myself thinking "Oh I want to look like her", "Is that too much muscle on a woman...nah I want to look like her". I stopped myself. NO I don't want to look like any of the pictures I saw. I want to look like me, except a healthy in shape me. Yes, I'm still saying "Oh I'd like to have my legs look like that", "Oh I like her abs etc". BUT I have to remember I'm Jessica! Deep down under all this fat I'm still Jessica. Yes, I have a weight that I'd like to weigh in mind. But I know that once I get into the shape I want it's not going to be a weight that the scale says.If I weigh 10 pounds more than the goal weight I have set, but I'm healthy and I like the way I look am I going to kill myself to get those last 10 pounds off...no I'm going to be happy with my body and keep working to keep myself healthy and in that shape.
All this being said I just want to stay motivated and on track. I've got to stop letting my husband weigh me down. I'm doing this for me, my kids and to show my kids a healthier way of life. If my husband doesn't get on board that's his loss. I would like him to open his eyes and see that this is something we should be doing together, but I'm not going to sit around waiting on him to get ready either. I've put this off for far too long. I've lost myself during this time. It's time to bring myself back and improve myself.
Jess
