Thoughts

I'm sitting here pumped up about losing my baby weight. Let's be honest from the get go. It's not all baby weight. Yes I have 6 children so there is baby weight there. My first child I gained 4 pounds during that pregnancy and went home 20 pounds less than my pre- pregnancy weight. Worked out and got into pretty good shape and then got sick and well life happened. I will say that my first child's father was good at pushing me to work out. Sometimes too good and I'd get mad and leave him at the gym. My second child I gained 16 pounds and had lost it all again when I got pregnant with my 3rd child. Gained 16 pounds and lost it and was doing pretty good at losing weight when I got pregnant with my 4th child. Gained 50 pounds with my 4th. After I had her I really hit the gym and was meeting with a trainer 2 days a week, plus exercising another 3-4 days on my own. Hadn't lost all of the 50 I gained from her when I got pregnant with my 5, and then my 6th. Granted I didn't gain but 14 pounds with my 6th, but that put me back up to a weight I'm not happy with. 

I've been off and on trying to losing the weight from my pregnancies. I'm a stress eater. 10 days after my son (my 6th child) was born my Dad died. I had surgery in 2012, had the worst year ever in 2013...well now it's 2014 and it's time to end the un healthy eating. I'm done with it. I'm done with being over weight as well.

I'm on day 6 of my lifestyle change. I joined a challenge to do 25 squats a day for 7 days. Today is day 6. I know you're thinking "25 squats a day is nothing". Well it's something when you haven't exercised in months! I'm not super sore now. After 2 days my legs were on fire, after day 3 my butt was so sore. It hurt to sit down, it hurt to stand up and it hurt the most to walk. You know what though, I did it. I kept going with the squats, I'm still going with my shakes, and I'm still motivated to keep going.

I think motivation is what keeps killing me. I can't seem to stay motivated and I have no support here at home. I was just told yesterday by my husband that he doesn't "care". He kept making stupid and nasty comments about my squats and I explained to him the challenge I'm doing and those were his words "I don't care".  How can you not care? 

I've never in the past had any support from my husband on losing weight. I've always heard "You don't need to lose weight", "I don't want you getting too skinny", "Why are you trying to lose weight". If he isn't saying it then he is trying to prevent it by bringing home junk food. I have very little will power and he knows this. I don't buy it so that I don't eat it. He knows if he brings it in the house that I'm going to cave and eat it. Now I'm not blaming my weight gain and lack of weight loss on my husband, I'm just saying he doesn't help.

I always start off very motivated and tell myself "I've got this", "I'm doing it this time". I always fail. I always lose motivation. I've got to keep it this time. I want to be healthy so badly. I'm going to find a way to motivate myself daily! My friend Doug is helping with this, he post something that motivates everyone every day on Facebook, sometimes more than one post (ok most days it's more than one post). He tells me all the time "self motivate"! 

As I've been looking through Pinterest at things other people have posted, either sayings, pictures, recipes etc I find myself thinking "Oh I want to look like her", "Is that too much muscle on a woman...nah I want to look like her". I stopped myself. NO I don't want to look like any of the pictures I saw. I want to look like me, except a healthy in shape me. Yes, I'm still saying "Oh I'd like to have my legs look like that", "Oh I like her abs etc". BUT I have to remember I'm Jessica! Deep down under all this fat I'm still Jessica. Yes, I have a weight that I'd like to weigh in mind. But I know that once I get into the shape I want it's not going to be a weight that the scale says.If I weigh 10 pounds more than the goal weight I have set, but I'm healthy and I like the way I look am I going to kill myself to get those last 10 pounds off...no I'm going to be happy with my body and keep working to keep myself healthy and in that shape.

All this being said I just want to stay motivated and on track. I've got to stop letting my husband weigh me down. I'm doing this for me, my kids and to show my kids a healthier way of life. If my husband doesn't get on board that's his loss. I would like him to open his eyes and see that this is something we should be doing together, but I'm not going to sit around waiting on him to get ready either. I've put this off for far too long. I've lost myself during this time. It's time to bring myself back and improve myself.

Jess

Update

Here we go! 12 pound loss and 11 inches!

Still going strong with the challenge. I'm on my second round since I did so bad on the first one. Due to hip injury, shoulder injury and just not working out.

Jess

That's a start

The 90 day challenge has ended and I lost 10 pounds and 8 1/2 inches off my body! Most of that being off my stomach! I'll be completely honest also. I didn't work out except for 1 walk during those 90 days. I also didn't do a full 90 days. I kept doing the challenge and then going off of the challenge and going back on etc. I also had two injuries while doing the challenge. One being a hip injury in December and the other being a shoulder injury that has hung around for almost a month.

I started a new 90 day challenge this week and my 90 days will be up 2 days before school gets out. Just in time for summer and all the wonderful veggies and fruits that come with summer. This year I'm planning a HUGE garden and pray that I get a ton of fruits and veggies so I can freeze and can them.

I have a plan! I'm going to do this 90 day challenge sticking to it the best I can. I'm going to be working out this time around. I have an exercise bike now and even with my shoulder injury I can get on that. I went walking yesterday with a friend and rode the bike for 30 minutes today. I've got this!! I'm going to switch up workouts so I don't get bored doing the same things over and over.  I have a little black dress that I bought before when I was 37 pounds lighter than I am right now. I will hang that up in my room to keep me on the ball. I'm going to find a dress that's even smaller than that to keep me going to my final goal. Grand total I have/had 80 pounds to lose. When I first started this journey. Now due to meds I had to take for the shoulder I gained 5 of the 10 pounds I lost back. Not to worry though since starting my challenge again I've lost 3 pounds already.

I have to want this for me also. It's great that I'm doing it for my husband to have a hot wife, and my kids to have a healthy mom and role model, but I have to want to please myself.

Jess

New Year

Will 2013 be the year that I finally get my crap together and get this baby weight off? You better believe it is going to be the year!

I started back on my 90 day challenge on the 31st and granted I'm having some trouble some days, but I'm not giving up! I'm going to keep on going! It's important to me that I get this weight off and get back to working out.

Monday my hubby goes back to daylight shift and I'll be putting the kids and daycare kids down for naps and pulling out the DVD's. It's time to kick the weight loss into high gear!

So far 6 pounds are gone but 8 inches are also go. The best part of all 4 1/2 inches are gone from my stomach! My hardest place to lose the weight!

Jess

90 day challenge!

Back on Decmember 1st I joined a 90 day challenge with my friend Doug! It's an easy challenge. There are about 20 of us doing it and we are trying to lose a total of 500 pounds. I myself have a total of 80 pounds to lose. We are doing this as a group to help push each other and keep each other going. I'm also starting drinking 2 meal replacement shakes. They are full of vitamins and protein. They are heart healthy, gluten free, lactose free shakes. They have melted 10 million pounds of fat in the past 2 years. They taste awesome also!

If you are interested in finding out more about the product please email me jessicastrack@yahoo.com

Jess

WHY???

Last week I took my 15 month old son in for a well check up visit. While I was there one of the ladies up front says "Oh you're expecting again"! She must have said she's sorry about 10 times after I told her I wasn't expecting. One of the ladies at the library said this to me not to long ago also. Why do people keep thinking I'm expecting.

OH MY WORD! We took my 7yr old out for her birthday dinner last night, of course all 5 girls had to go potty. While in the bathroom I get a good look at my full body. I look like I'm EXPECTING!!! No wonder people keep thinking I'm having baby #7.

I'm so upset and keep tearing up. I can't believe I let myself stop working out last year. I was doing so good. I'd lost 21 pounds. Why did I stop? Why can I not seem to get started again? Why am I not right this second writting down a plan to get in shape? Why have I not started some sort of workout program?

Jess

Doing it!

Yesterday I tired my hand at the eating every 3 hours think. I'm trying to give my metabolism a boost. Did pretty good until I had a cleaning appointment when I was suppose to be eating. Hard to eat something while your getting your teeth cleaned:)

Today I will be home most of the day, so far I'm doing good. I've had Greek yogurt (and friend said try this because it has over 10g protein), part of a banana, peanut butter & Nutella bagel and an apple. Lunch time is around the corner. Not 100% sure what I'll be having then.

A friend posted the weather for next week (as of right now) and it's going to be a beautiful day to get out and walk. I'm waiting on my baby sitting schedule for next week so I can sit down and write down the times and all that I'm working out. Oh and what I'll be doing. I've lined up a friend to go walking with me, so no backing out there:)

Put a fork in me I'm done being fat! Time to melt away the fat that has taken over my body. I'm ready to be "one hot mama"! Time to get the party started! Gonna make me sweat til I bleed. Gonna bring sexy back. Ok enough with the songs. Need to update the songs on my exercise track on the Ipod!

Jess